i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
