Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
