what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
