I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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