kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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