im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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