Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
