He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
