Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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