Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize