The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
