Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
