my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize