It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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