Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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