Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
