I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
