i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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