trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
