He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
