No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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