Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
