I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
