Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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