I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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