I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need a hoe opinion
go on
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
