i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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