this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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