Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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