Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
