How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
