So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
These tits shall not be calmed
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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