Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
