Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
