from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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