Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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