She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
