I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
