I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
