I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
