This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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