Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
