He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
