we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
