Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
