All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
