True but thats because hes a fetus.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
