ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize