i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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