i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
