I'm going to rape someone's good day.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
