The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
