So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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