I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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