I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
