Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize