i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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